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PRIVATE CLIENT NEWSLETTER

Volume 3: Issue 6 | Date: August 20, 2019

You are receiving this letter because you are either a high-net-worth client of Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation (since 1980) or you once applied for a commercial real estate loan of $1 million or more using C-Loans.com or CommercialMortgage.com. Blackburne & Sons and C-Loans, Inc. are sister companies.

Today we’ll discuss the frightening reality that China and Russia are getting ready to go to war against us. In a recent Pentagon war planning simulation against China and Russia, the U.S. got its butt handed to it. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a video of a really cool dad using a laundry basket to thrill his daughter.

Joke Du Jour

After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. She then carefully applied cold cream all over her face except her eyes, which she outlined with a different cream. She then proceeded to put her hair in high rollers. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was that?”

First Airplane Ride Joke

I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride.  We boarded the plane and I got the window seat.  After a short while, I turned to daddy and exclaimed, "Daddy!  We're so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants."  Daddy moved over and looked out the window.  After a moment he smiled and said, "Those are ants, my dear.  We haven't taken off yet."

Earn Up to 12% Interest in Your IRA or Your Kid’s College Fund

It is important that you please grasp the concept that you could be borrowing from Blackburne & Sons against some rental or commercial property at the very same time that you are using your IRA to invest $30,000 in one of our first trust deed investments. Many of our biggest trust deed investors first came to us twenty years ago as commercial property borrowers.

You probably have money set aside for your retirement and for the cost of college for your children and grandchildren. It shouldn't all be invested in the stock market. In California, the first trust deed investment business is huge. A recent law change - the JOBS Act - now allows accredited investors nationwide to also invest in these same first trust deeds and first mortgages.

Please click here to receive investment offerings.

Boat Captain Joke

A local laboratory employed a licensed boat captain to man its research vessel. Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A newcomer, learning of this, approached him about it. "Is it true?" the newcomer asked incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?” "No I can't," the captain replied. "Can pilots fly?”

Obituary Joke

One morning at our small-town newspaper office, one of the editors was struggling to write a headline for the obituary of a woman who was noted for little besides a fondness for cross-word puzzles.  "What am I supposed to write?" the editor whined. "She liked puzzles?”  Just then one of our copy editors piped up, "How about, 'Crossword fan is now six down.’"

Want to Speak With a Loan Officer From Blackburne & Sons?

Blackburne & Sons, our private money commercial lending company, continues to seek slightly-flawed first mortgages between $100,000 to $1.5 million on standing commercial properties nationwide.

To apply for a private money commercial loan from Blackburne & Sons, please click on your favorite loan officer below to send them an email:

Suspense Joke

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

- Today's Observation -

China And Russia Are Preparing to Attack US

The Winds of War are blowing. I am convinced that China and Russia are preparing for another World War that may begin in as short as four years. "Wait a minute, George. If we had another World War, the nuclear exchange would exterminate life on earth."

Correct. Experts have predicted that a nuclear exchange between just India and Pakistan would create a nuclear winter so horrific that it would cause the starvation death of 2 billion people. No, neither side will use nukes, just like neither side used poison gas during World War II. Even with the vengeful Russians (they were really pissed) closing in on Berlin, the Germans didn't use poison gas.

I suspect that World War III will be fought instead with smart hypersonic missiles and space-based weapons. Imagine waking up to find smart hypersonic missiles slamming into our missile manufacturing plants, our chip manufacturing facilities (Intel and Micron); into the launchpads and engineering buildings of Space X (slows down our ability to launch new satellites); into our power plants and dams; into our oil refining plants; into the engineering buildings containing our brightest technological minds at Google, Microsoft and Intel; and into every one of our aircraft carriers.

London Bus Joke

Heard on a London bus:  "When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.  If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language.  Thank you.”

Mystic Joke

An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose the thermos bottle. "Why a thermos bottle?" the others asked. "Because the thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.” “Yes… so what?” "Think about it," said the mystic reverently. "That little bottle -- how does it know?”

Here's Why You Want to Stay Close to Blackburne & Sons

Founded in 1980, Blackburne & Sons is an old-time syndicator. There are very few of us left. The Tax Reform Act of 1986 pretty much nuked the whole syndication industry off the face of the Earth. Because you know a syndicator, you now have access to some special money.

Roseburg Marriott Fairfield Inn Investment Bulletin

Please be very wise and play close attention to the following:

Because every loan we make is a new syndicate (as opposed to a fund investment), Blackburne & Sons is always in the market.

When the stock market has fallen by 40%, when real estate values are falling like a knife, and when your own bank is too terrified to lend you a dime, Blackburne & Sons always has a group of savvy investors willing to lend - admittedly at a price - when blood is running in the streets. We are one of a tiny handful of lenders who remained in the market, making loans, every single day of the Great Recession.

So stick close to us. Syndicators are pretty rare, and now you know one. 

Platypus Joke

Q: Did you hear about the unique platypus? 

A: He was unlike all the otters. 

Baseball Joke

My wife claims I'm a baseball fanatic. She says all I ever read about is baseball. All I ever talk about is baseball. All I ever think about is baseball. I told her she's way off base.

Apply to Blackburne & Sons For a (Very Soft) Hard Money Loan

Here is a scenario that might tickle you. You could have $100,000 from your self-directed IRA spread out among four or five first trust deeds from Blackburne & Sons, and at the very same time you could be borrowing $250,000 from Blackburne & Sons on an apartment building that you are fixing up in Boston. Not every hard money lender is the same. Our loans have a 30-year amortization (almost interest-only), a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty. You never want to have a hard money loan ballooning during a recession. 

Apply for a commercial loan or business-purpose home loan from Blackburne & Sons.

Tootsie Roll Joke

Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper." 

Video - This Dad is the Absolute Best

Final Funny

One day Al was driving to the lake for a swim when he noticed a man on the side of the highway dressed all in red.  “Who are you?” asked Al as he pulled up to the stranger.  “I’m the Man in Red and I’m very hungry,” said the man.   Reaching into his lunch sack, Al pulled out a sandwich, handed it to the man, then sped off down the road.  A few miles later, Al spotted another man, this time dressed all in yellow.   “What can I do for you?” asked Al.  “I’m the Man in Yellow and I’m very thirsty.”  Pulling out a can of soda, Al handed the Coke to the man , then resumed his journey. 

Anxious to get to the lake before sunset, Al put his foot to the pedal and roamed off down the road, only to spot yet another man, dressed all in blue, signaling for Al to stop.  “Don’t tell me!” said Al impatiently. “You’re the Man in Blue, right?”  ”That's right!” replied the man.  ”Well, what do you want?”  ”Driver’s license and registration, please.”

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