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July 15, 2020
MORTGAGE STUFF
Volume 20: Issue 5
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C-Loans Client Newsletter
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss a super-cheap method of marketing that every businessman in every industry - mortgage ladies, doctors, dentists, chemical suppliers, everyone should use. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a very disturbing video of the aftermath of the Minneapolis riots.
Attention:
We Are Looking For an Expert Witness in Commercial Real Estate Finance
You get paid for your valuable time, plus qualifying as an expert looks great on your resume. Here are the details.
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Joke Du Jour
As I was attempting to take a shower one day, my two-year-old little girl and my husband couldn't seem to stay out of the bathroom. They also kept leaving the door wide open. "So much for privacy," I thought. But there was a cool breeze coming into the bathroom too, and I was getting chilled. After asking them to shut the door several times, with no luck, I shouted gruffly, "Close the door! There's a draft in here!” My two-year-old daughter ran into the bathroom, shouting, "Where? Where? Where’s the giraffe?”
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Free Commercial Loan Software
C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.
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Shark Joke
"Researchers in Hawaii recently put webcams on the fins of sharks so they could get a firsthand view of what the sharks see. The first thing they saw? A shark eating the guy who strapped a webcam on its fin.” — Jimmy Fallon
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Place Your Loan With C-Loans
C-Loans.com is a true commercial mortgage portal. It allows you to create, in just four minutes, a universal mini-app. You then submit this mini-app to our 750 different commercial lenders.
C-Loans acts like a giant filter that screens out the unsuitable lenders and reduces this huge, unmanageable list of lenders down to a list of just 30 banks, credit unions, and other lenders that are perfect for your deal. You put a checkmark next to six lenders and then press, “Submit.” Within minutes, hungry lenders will be contacting you with offers. And C-Loans is free!
If you have never checked off six lenders on a list that looks like the image below, then you have never really used C-Loans.com.
Special COVID-19 Notice: The whole concept of C-Loans.com is that banks are fickle. They pop in and out of the commercial lending market on almost a daily basis. This is especially true during this COVID-19 crisis! We urge you to submit all of your commercial loans through C-Loans and to submit your deal to at least 24 different banks, six per use (just close out and come back in four times). Fortunately we just added several hundred new banks.
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Listening Joke
I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?!” It’s such a random way to start a conversation.
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Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons
Click HERE to Apply Now!
Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.
Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:
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Bark Joke
We have an old tree that became diseased and was losing its bark. It needed a bark transplant, so we called a tree surgeon. The communication was unfortunately mangled, and when the surgeon arrived, he went to work on a tree across the street. He was halfway done when I noticed the error. I tried to stop him by yelling, "Stop! Stop! You're barking up the wrong tree!”
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Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit
Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity.
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How C-Loans Actually Works
Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!
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Eggs Joke
It always irked my mother that her grocery store didn’t carry eggs in packages of six - just by the dozen. Then one day her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six. She was so excited, she bought two!
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Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States
Click HERE to Apply Now!
Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.
Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.
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Commercial: NATIONWIDE
Residential:
- Alaska
- Arizona
- California
- Delaware
- Florida
- Georgia
- Hawaii
- Hawaii
- Indiana
- Louisiana
- Louisiana
- Maryland
- Michigan
- Missouri
- New Jersey
- New York
- North Carolina
- Ohio
- Oklahoma
- Pennsylvania
- Rhode Island
- South Carolina
- Tennessee
- Texas
- Virginia
- Washington
- West Virginia
- Wisconsin
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What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.
The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.
Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:
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Carpool Lane Joke
Cop: So, I’m writing you a ticket for driving alone in the carpool lane.
Criminal: You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk!
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Become a Hard Money Lender
One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.
Now Available Online!
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Hungry Joke
"Dad, I am hungry."
"Hi Hungry, I'm Dad."
"Dad, I'm serious."
"I thought you were Hungry?"
"Are you kidding me?"
"Nope, I'm Dad.”
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Mayday Joke
Ralph was towing his boat home from a fishing trip in Jamaica Bay when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance. He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday.” A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location.” "I-95, two miles south of Cranston.” After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?”
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- Today's Observation -
Dirt Cheap Marketing For All Business Types
Every business has customers, clients, prospects, and industry contacts who can refer new customers to the company. Unless you happen to dislike money (haha), you need to keep your name and contact information regularly in front of these guys.
You could pay for TV or radio ads, but this kind of advertising is insanely expensive. Google ads? Same thing. Big $$$. Mass email advertising to strangers? Not only are mass email blasts to strangers illegal, but no one likes spam.
But newsletter advertising to existing customers, nibblers, and existing industry contacts is legal, ethical, very effective, and dirt cheap.
We here at Blackburne & Sons use iContact, an email blasting software company that charges us only $186 per month. Not only will iContact blast out your emails, but it will also maintain your databank of contacts and provide you with a newsletter template that will make you look like a billion dollar company.
So what do you include in your newsletter? Just imagine you’re meeting your contact after work for a beer. What kind of stuff would you tell him? A joke? A cool story? Maybe a funny meme? Some juicy gossip? It really doesn’t matter, as long as it's interesting.
That’s the trade-off. Your contacts permit you to display your name and contact information in return for being entertained.
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How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot
I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.
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Scarface Joke
In Mexico authorities captured the world's most wanted drug kingpin. He was hiding in a tiny little apartment. It was very anti-climactic. It was like Scarface saying, "Say hello to my little… kitchenette.” — Craig Ferguson
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Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?
Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.
Now Available Online!
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Girl Scout Cookies Joke
"A girl in San Francisco actually sold Girl Scout cookies at a medical marijuana clinic this week; which is why today she bought a mansion and retired.” — Jimmy Fallon
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High School Joke
I had a great childhood, but if you’d told me when I was a kid that after graduating high school, I'd get to be on "Saturday Night Live" and eventually I’d be the host of "The Tonight Show," I'd have said, "I graduated high school?” — Jimmy Fallon
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Still Can’t Find the Right Commercial Lender?
Try CommercialMortgage.com. This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.
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Video - The Aftermath in Minneapolis
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Final Funny
I was out walking with my four-year-old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her, and I asked her not to do that. Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been on the ground,” I replied. “You don't know where it's been, it's dirty, and probably has germs."
At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.” I was thinking quickly.” All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for two or three minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.
“Oh, I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Daddy." “Exactly," I replied back with a big smile on my face.
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NMLS #167100
CA DRE #1330173
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4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
P: (916) 338-3232
F: (916) 338-2328
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NMLS #103430
CA DRE #829677
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