|
June 2, 2020
MORTGAGE STUFF
Volume 20: Issue 4
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
C-Loans Client Newsletter
You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss whether we might all be in a declining industry, much like the buggy whip business became obsolete with the arrival of the automobile. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and an amazing little video of a bobcat jumping.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joke Du Jour
During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died. With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000. The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.
George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, considering the difference in price." "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case from many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day, he rose from the dead! I just can't take that chance.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Free Commercial Loan Software
C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Marijuana Joke
A new study found that marijuana use among people over 65 has gone up 250 percent in recent years. One woman said, "I like to smoke up before watching, 'Jeopardy!' I call it my daily doobie.” — Jimmy Fallon
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Place Your Loan With C-Loans
C-Loans.com is a true commercial mortgage portal. It allows you to create, in just four minutes, a universal mini-app. You then submit this mini-app to our 750 different commercial lenders.
C-Loans acts like a giant filter that screens out the unsuitable lenders and reduces this huge, unmanageable list of lenders down to a list of just 30 banks, credit unions, and other lenders that are perfect for your deal. You put a checkmark next to six lenders and then press, “Submit.” Within minutes, hungry lenders will be contacting you with offers. And C-Loans is free!
If you have never checked off six lenders on a list that looks like the image below, then you have never really used C-Loans.com.
Special COVID-19 Notice: The whole concept of C-Loans.com is that banks are fickle. They pop in and out of the commercial lending market on almost a daily basis. This is especially true during this COVID-19 crisis! We urge you to submit all of your commercial loans through C-Loans and to submit your deal to at least 24 different banks, six per use (just close out and come back in four times). Fortunately we just added several hundred new banks.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
In School Joke
A friend of mine has three boys, the youngest of whom, Gregory, had just started school. A teacher commented to Gregory that she couldn't believe he was already in first grade and asked what his mother did all day now that the three boys were in school. "Cartwheels," Gregory answered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons
Click HERE to Apply Now!
Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.
Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dummy Joke
Did you know that 97% of the world is dumb? Luckily, I’m in the other 5%!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit
Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How C-Loans Actually Works
Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dust Joke
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,"Without you we are but dust... " He would have continued, but at that moment my daughter, who surprisingly was listening, leaned over to me and asked, quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States
Click HERE to Apply Now!
Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.
Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.
|
|
|
|
|
Commercial: NATIONWIDE
Residential:
- Alaska
- Arizona
- California
- Delaware
- Florida
- Georgia
- Hawaii
- Hawaii
- Indiana
- Louisiana
- Louisiana
- Maryland
- Michigan
- Missouri
- New Jersey
- New York
- North Carolina
- Ohio
- Oklahoma
- Pennsylvania
- Rhode Island
- South Carolina
- Tennessee
- Texas
- Virginia
- Washington
- West Virginia
- Wisconsin
|
|
Unfortunately these states are out:
- Idaho
- Minnesota
- Nevada
- North Dakota
- Oregon
- South Dakota
- Utah
- Vermont
|
|
|
|
|
|
What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.
The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.
Call or click on your favorite loan representative to email:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Steel Joke
"You know, I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon." — Ellen DeGeneres
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Become a Hard Money Lender
One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.
Now Available Online!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Wrong Student Joke
While visiting a country school, the Chairman of the Board of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys, who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
911 Joke
Dispatcher: "Nine-one-one. What's the nature of your emergency?"
Caller: "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart."
Dispatcher: "Is this her first child?"
Caller: "No, you idiot! This is her husband.”
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
- Today's Observation -
Is Commercial Real Estate Obsolete?
My wife and I love getting delicious and exotic meals delivered to our door from various nearby restaurants. How soon before before a bunch of smart restauranteurs set up kitchens in cheap industrial parks and rely 100% on DoorDash and GrubHub?
For the past four months, the workers at Blackburne & Sons have been working from home, with perhaps one different worker per day working out of the office. Zoom, scanning, PDF’s, email, and Dropbox work quite well, and my employees have no commute. Yeah, baby! :-) We’ve worked out of the same 1,600 sf office for 25 years now, so even if we someday needed to expand, we’ll simply hire virtual workers. We’ll never rent more office space.
For at least fifty years, many small-time bookkeepers, real estate brokers, and property managers have worked from a little office in their homes. How soon before larger firms maintain just a token office and only meet with their clients using Zoom? Do we need so much office space?
We have already seen Amazon’s business grow by 30% during this crisis. People like having their staple goods delivered to their door. The future of retail simply must lie in providing experiences, not just rows of goods on shelves; but even if stores become cool places to hang out and view new things, the overall demand for retail space simply must fall.
Gesch, if I were a commercial architect, I might be tempted to jump off a bridge. Not only are 99% of all banks out of the commercial construction lending market, but the demand for new commercial space will almost certainly plunge by 50%. Sixty percent? More?
This three-month COVID quarantine has changed our world. Multifamily and residential projects will still be hot. If you are in the loan business, I urge you to focus your attention there. I have fantasies of large, master-planned, live-work subdivisions in Indiana, where water is plentiful (the vegetation here is so lush and green) and land is cheap. Every house would have an attached home-office, with a separate entry, and three visitor parking spaces.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot
I just completed updating in 2019 my popular video course, “How to Market for Commercial Loans.” I have been marketing for commercial loans for almost 40 years. I have wasted well over $175,000 on marketing campaigns that were complete busts. Direct mail. Postcards. Classified ads. Magazine ads. Google ads. Complete busts. Here is what works.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Squirrel Fire Joke
"A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I'm not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million.” — Seth Meyers
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?
Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.
Now Available Online!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Vampire Joke
Q: What do you call a fat vampire slayer?
A: Puffy!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Space X Joke (I sure hope Elon’s manned launch goes well.)
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Still Can’t Find the Right Commercial Lender?
Try CommercialMortgage.com. This free commercial mortgage portal has almost 4,000 commercial lenders in its databank. None of these commercial lenders appear on C-Loans.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Medicine Joke
Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations, the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Video - This Bobcat Can Really Jump
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Final Funny
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?” Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
NMLS #167100
CA DRE #1330173
|
|
|
|
4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
P: (916) 338-3232
F: (916) 338-2328
|
|
|
|
NMLS #103430
CA DRE #829677
|
|
|
|
|
|
