May 31, 2019

MORTGAGE STUFF

Volume 19, Issue 4



C-Loans Client Newsletter

You are receiving this letter because you are a commercial mortgage broker client of either Blackburne & Sons or C-Loans, Inc. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss how to build a list of clients who will come back to you for real estate loans again and again. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and an amazing video of some parrots playing basketball. I kid you not.

Joke Du Jour

"I quit smoking pot. I quit because I saw this commercial on TV - you may have seen the same one. It's the one where this kid gets all his buddies together. They're gonna go in the basement, and they're gonna smoke some weed. So, he goes to get his marijuana out of his marijuana container, but there's no pot inside. There's just a note on a rolling paper. It says, 'We need to talk. Mom.' That's crazy, 'cause a very similar thing happened to me, but my note just said, 'I owe you a dime bag. Love, Mom.’" — Jeremy Schachter

Free Commercial Loan Placement Kit

Your free commercial loan placement kit contains a list of of 200 commercial lenders, a Commercial Loan Checklist, a superb white paper on where to find commercial lenders when the market is tight, and a short video lesson explaining mezzanine loans and preferred equity. 

Say What?!

You're Subscribed to My Blog, Right?

It’s free training in commercial mortgage brokerage. And because it's old man Blackburne writing, you just know this blog is funny.

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Off Drugs Joke

"Want your kids to stay off drugs? Simply show them pictures of what we used to wear in the 60's and 70’s. 'You see this shirt with the collar going all the way down to the elbow? This is what happens when you take drugs.’" — Anthony Griffith

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

Bully Joke

"I wouldn't go to school. I thought all the kids at school were going to beat me up, which is absurd. They couldn't all beat me up - someone had to hold me down." — Eric Kornfield

Got a Slightly Flawed Commercial Loan? Call Blackburne & Sons

Apply Now! Blackburne & Sons continues to seek first mortgages between $100,000 to $2 million on standing commercial properties nationwide. We particularly like Gentlemen’s Clubs. One unusual loan product that we offer is our blanket loan against a portfolio of rental homes. We will also hypothecate notes and buy commercial loans at a discount. We also make non-owner-occupied, business purpose, residential loans in many states. Please be sure to bookmark our commercial mortgage rate sheet right now.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232

Butt-Kicking Joke

"One time, I got beat up by a kid named Jesus. And when you're seven, you can't tell the difference between Jesus, a typical Puerto Rican name in your neighborhood, and Jesus, the actual savior. So I was walking around all confused -- you know, guilty. What had I done that the Lord would send his only begotten son down to Brooklyn to kick my (butt)?" — Billy Santiago

More Good Stuff About CommercialMortgage.com

The key to closing commercial loans is two-fold: (1) Submit your commercial loan to bank after after bank until you find a hungry one; and (2) submit your commercial loan to a bank located close to the subject property. 

We have a standing trade offer where we will trade a copy of my famous 9-hour video training course, How to Broker Commercial Loans ($549), for a list of 20 commercial real estate loan officers working for banks and credit unions. As a result, the list of commercial lenders on CommercialMortgage.com is constantly growing.

Hips Joke

"I never had hips. It's because I don't have kids. Everybody tells me that once I have a kid, I'll grow some hips. That's cool, but what do you do with the kid?” — Retha Jones

Business Purpose Rental Home Loans in Most States

Apply Now! Please pay special attention to the following: Unlike other hard money brokers, Blackburne & Sons Realty Capital Corporation makes home loans with a 15-year term (30-year amortization), and there is NO prepayment penalty. Our competitors make just three-year or five-year bridge loans. Our loans are clearly better because you may want to hold the property. These loans are sometimes known as buy-to-rent loans.

Historically, Blackburne & Sons was mostly a commercial lender. This has now changed. We are aggressively aggressively seeking non-owner occupied home loans. We have already closed loans in the following states, and our attorney can quickly research your state to verify that we can lend there. Unfortunately, in a handful of states, an NMLS license is not enough.

What about YOUR state? If you have a real-life deal, we’ll hire our attorney to quickly research its availability.

The property has to be non-owner occupied, and the purpose of the loan must be for business. Remember, the nice thing about business purpose home loans from Blackburne & Sons is that our loans have a 30-year amortization, a 15-year term, and no prepayment penalty.

Call or email your favorite loan representative:

(916) 338-3232

Responsibility Joke

"Having a baby is a huge responsibility. It's like a five-year commitment." — Chelsea Handler

Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance - 9 Hour Video Training

Speaking French Joke

"I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I was in a situation where I had to, it would be like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' -- no problem." — Eugene Mirman

Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.

Newborn Joke

"If you're a guy and you've never seen a newborn child, let me tell you now, it's the miracle of life. Nothing more precious, nothing more delicate, nothing quite as ugly as a newborn child. They got no hair, they got no teeth -- they're like aliens.” -- Louis Ramey

Get Both Courses For Just $849

Save $249

- TODAY'S LESSON -

You Gotta Save EVERY Rich Guy You Meet

Poor people don’t own big shopping centers. High-net-worth investors own them. If you are a commercial mortgage broker, you meet two or three new filthy rich investors every day. 

In fact, when I train my two sons in commercial real estate finance (“CREF”), this is a lesson that I constantly pound into their brains. There is no easier way to meet accredited investors than to be a commercial mortgage broker. Why? Because the guys who are responding to your CREF advertisements are all wealthy guys. And when you meet them, be sure to add them to your mailing list!

You can also solicit these guys for residential loans. In addition to their homes, many of them own rental houses. You can also solicit them to refer you to their investors friends for commercial loans. Remember, referral fees in CREF are perfectly legal, as long as the finder does not try to fetch documents or negotiate terms.

Your net worth will eventually be directly proportional to the number of accredited investors on your mailing list.

Noah Joke (Cute one for the kids)

Q. What lights did Noah use on his ark?

A. Flood lights, of course.

How To Generate Commercial Leads Like Turning On a Spigot

Have You Been Screwed Out of a Big Loan Fee Yet?

Whenever someone boasts of being a good horseman, I always ask him, “Have you ever been thrown?” The correct answer is, “Many, many times”. There is an old saying, “If you ain’t been thrown, you ain't ridden very much.” The same is unfortunately true of commercial mortgage brokerage. You will screwed out of a loan fee of $10,000 or more at least twice per year for your entire career. Now I am NOT talking about the borrower closing the loan and not paying you. That rarely happens. What these dastardly borrowers do is lie to you or cancel on you. You would be a flipping idiot not to pay a lousy $199 for my ninety-minute video training course, Fee Collection For Commercial Mortgage Brokers. It includes my famous fee agreement. Go ahead and ignore this section. You will cry, I absolutely guarantee you.

Lost Joke

Five year old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, "I've lost my dad!" The policeman said, "What's he like?" Little Johnny replied, "Beer and women!”

How To Earn Huge Referral Fees

Please click here after viewing the video.

Bad Day Joke

John is having a bad day.

He tried to button his shirt and a button fell off.

He picked up his briefcase and the handle fell off.

He went to open the door and the doorknob fell off.

Now he's afraid to pee.

Video - Parakeets Playing Basketball

Get Four Free Training Courses

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.

Final Funny

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.

Later that evening, as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.  She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.

Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

NMLS #167100

CA DRE #1330173

4811 Chippendale Drive, Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (916) 338-3232

F: (916) 338-2328

NMLS #103430

CA DRE #829677