C-LOANS BANKER LETTER
This letter is intended only for commercial mortgage loan officers working for banks and hard money lenders. Today we'll talk about the Western States CREF Conference and large balance commercial loans. And, of course, because this is C-Loans (the jokesters), we have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a fun video of Jeb Bush and Jimmy Kimmel at the Emmy's.
Joke Du Jour
Sherlock Holmes's sister, Ella, was a bit confused - not that she suffered from dementia or anything - she simply was a bit of an air head. She was always getting her two twins confused, even though they were fraternal, not identical, and everyone else could easily tell Patricia from Theresa. One day Sherlock's sister invited the great detective and his assistant to a piano recital that Patsy was to give the following evening. When she left, Sherlock's assistant said, rather bewilderedly, to Sherlock, "I didn't know that Patsy was studying the piano." To which Holmes replied, "Ella meant Terry, my dear Watson."
Poor Little Guy
Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?
Here's a sample commercial loan application.
Another Pirate Joke
Q: Why are pirates so mean?
A: No one knows. They just aaarrr!
Please Refer Your Commercial Loan Turndowns to Either CommercialMortgage.com or C-Loans.com
If you turn down a commercial real estate loan this week, would you kindly refer the borrower to CommercialMortgage.com (easier to remember) or C-Loans.com? CommercialMortgage.com better be easy to remember. We paid $100,000 just for that domain name, CommercialMortgage.com. If none of our 750 different commercial lenders can help him, the deal probably isn't do-able. Thanks so much!
Breakfast Joke
At the diner, my breakfast arrived with only three sausages instead of the usual four. The waitress explained that the cook had dropped one and was making another. Soon the cook dashed out of the kitchen. "Here you are," he announced. "It's the missing link!"
The Western States CREF Conference and Large Balance Commercial Loans
My son, George IV, and I just returned from the 19th Annual Western States Commercial Real Estate Finance Conference in Las Vegas. The "Western States" is the biggest show of the year for the commercial mortgage industry.
The show was held at the Wynn Hotel and Casino, a very beautiful venue. The conference hotel rate was just $220 per night, which was terrific since the rooms were larger than many New York apartments. But get this: George IV and I each had one glass of chardonnay at the bar. Our bill? $42 before tip. Ouch!
We were there to show off CommercialMortgage.com, our brand new, totally free, commercial mortgage portal that will supplement our flagship portal, C-Loans.com. The new site opened a lot of doors for us. Twenty new commercial lenders joined C-Loans.com as a result of the show. Nine of these commercial lenders were large balance commercial lenders, lenders with a minimum commercial loan size of $5MM to $15MM.
One of the commercial lenders to join C-Loans is the 9th largest bank in the world, with assets of $2.1 trillion. Their minimum loan size? $20 million!
You are invited to come and play with CommercialMortgage.com. Just make up an imaginary loan and enter it into this new portal. I promise that you'll be impressed.
Would your bank like to close a few more commercial loans? Then join C-Loans.com!
Aunt Emma Joke
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Eventually, the old girl passed away. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. "My Aunt Emma??!" she cried. "I thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
Free Commercial Mortgage Marketing Course
You've got a buddy who works as a commercial loan officer at a neighboring bank, right? We'll trade you the contents of one of his or her business cards for a free commercial mortgage marketing course. We sell this popular course separately on C-Loans.com for $199. Learn how to turn on a flow of SBA and conventional commercial mortgage leads as easily as turning on a spigot.
Important note: This has nothing to do with joining C-Loans as a lender. For more information, please click here.
Cats Just Love Batting Curios Off of Shelves
Bankers: Get 200 Free SBA Loan Applications
Does your bank want to close more SBA loans? C-Loans.com will give you two hundred SBA loan leads for free, deals that are perfect for your bank. These loans will be the right size. They will be located only in your favorite counties of your favorite states, and these SBA loans leads will be secured by just the type of commercial real estate that you prefer - office buildings, industrial buildings, etc.
Please click here for more information about how to receive 200 free SBA loan applications. The above offer is made only to commercial banks and credit unions.
What if you don't work for a bank or credit union, but your commercial mortgage company services more than $20 million in commercial real estate loans? We have a fine program for you too. Please call Mick Carlson at (574) 855-6292 or click here for more details.
Diet Joke
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day supply of diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes...
Join C-Loans For a Flat Fee
Most banks that join C-Loans take advantage of our free guaranteed success program; but a bank can now join C-Loans, get listed on our Suggested Lender Lists, and receive tons of commercial mortgage loan applications for a small monthly fee:
For banks with less than $2 billion in assets, the cost is just $250 per month, and up to three loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $2 billion in assets and less than $7 billion in assets, the cost is just $350 per month, and up to four loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $7 billion in assets and less than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $500 per month, and up to five loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
For banks with more than $15 billion in assets, the cost is just $1,000 per month, and up to ten loan officers can receive our SBA and commercial real estate loan leads.
Important note: In all of these cases, the bank owes nothing more, even if it closes a loan.
To join C-Loans using our new flat-fee program, please email Mick Carlson, General Manager, or call him at 574-855-6292.
But, once again, most banks joining C-Loans, take advantage of our free guaranteed success program, where the bank only pays C-Loans, Inc. a software licensing fee of 0.375 points (just 25 bps. on deals over $5MM) if it closes a commercial loan from C-Loans. Most banks simply increase their normal loan origination fee from 1.0 point to 1.375 points to cover the cost of using our software and receiving our leads. This makes C-Loans effectively free to the bank.
To join using our guaranteed success program - effectively free to the bank - simply use this super-easy form to join C-Loans as a lender.
Golf Joke
"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air." -- Jack Benny
Referring Your Turndowns to C-Loans.com (or CommercialMortgage.com) Gives Your Customers a Good Place to Look
If you have to turn down a bank customer's request for a commercial loan, it will help him if you could suggest a place for him to look elsewhere. With 750 different commercial real estate lenders participating on C-Loans.com, if your customer can't qualify for a commercial mortgage from us, he probably won't qualify anywhere. Thank you so much!
Exercise Joke
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web...
How To Close Investor Commercial Loans When Your Loan Committee Won't Exceed 62% LTV
Suppose one of your better bank customers wants to buy a commercial building, not for his company, but rather just for investment. The deal cash flows perfectly at 75% LTV, but your nervous Loan Committee cuts the deal back to just 62% LTV. "Gosh, I have been a good bank customer for decades. I thought my own bank would take better care of me."
The sister company of C-Loans, Blackburne & Sons, raises small balance JV equity for such deals, and we'll raise as little as $100,000. We'll add our equity to your customer's down payment to create a down payment large enough to satisfy your Loan Committee.
Got a potential deal? Please complete this simple preferred equity application or call Angela Vannucci at 916-338-3232.
Not Gonna Do It. Wouldn't Be Prudent.
Golf Joke II
"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced. -- Lee Trevino
Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn of Spydercube.com for referring us a $17 million deal. Not long ago we paid our friends at RealWebFunds.com an $11,000 referral fee.
We've made it super-easy to refer us commercial loans and to receive big referral fees. Please click here for details.
Video - Jeb Bush At the Emmy's
At this week's Emmy Awards, Jeb Bush and Jimmy Kimmel played in a clever skit.
Golf Joke III
"I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..." -- Chi Chi Rodriguez
One Final Pathetic Plea
If you won't let us pay you a referral fee, won't you please-please refer your commercial mortgage turndowns to C-Loans.com or to CommercialMortgage.com? Thanks!
Final Funny (PG-13)
A farmer has three sons. One day his oldest boy comes to him and pleads with him that he is graduating from school and would really like to get a car. His father says, "Son, come with me." He takes him to the barn, points to the farm tractor, and says, "That tractor is needed here on the farm, and I promise that as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car." The boy was not too happy, but he did understand that situation, saying, "Okay, Dad."
A week later, his second son (10-years-old) approaches him wanting a new two-wheeled bicycle. Well, he gets the same excuse... "as soon as that tractor is paid for."
A few days later, the farmer's third son (his youngest) comes bugging him for a tricycle. Again, 'ole Dad gives him the lecture about the tractor being paid for first.
While leaving the barn, the young boy, more than a little disgusted with the whole thing, sees a rooster mating with one of the hens. He promptly strides over and kicks the rooster off the hen's back, mumbling to himself the whole time. His dad says, "Son, why on earth would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to you to deserve that!" The little boy looks Dad right square in the eye and says, "Hey, nobody rides anything around here until that (darn) tractor is paid for."
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