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BANKER LETTER
Volume 8: Issue 7
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Date: June 9, 2020
This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss whether we might all be in a declining industry, much like the buggy whip business became obsolete with the arrival of the automobile. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and an amazing little video of a bobcat jumping.
Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com? Seriously, guys, this searchable portal is free, and it contains thousands of commercial lenders. You really are doing them a favor.
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Joke Du Jour
During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died. With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000. The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.
George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do." The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much, considering the difference in price." "No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case from many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day, he rose from the dead! I just can't take that chance.”
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Free Commercial Loan Software
C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.
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Marijuana Joke
A new study found that marijuana use among people over 65 has gone up 250 percent in recent years. One woman said, "I like to smoke up before watching, 'Jeopardy!' I call it my daily doobie.” — Jimmy Fallon
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Free Commercial Loan Leads
C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.
If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothing. Please click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)
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In School Joke
A friend of mine has three boys, the youngest of whom, Gregory, had just started school. A teacher commented to Gregory that she couldn't believe he was already in first grade and asked what his mother did all day now that the three boys were in school. "Cartwheels," Gregory answered.
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How C-Loans Actually Works
Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!
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Dummy Joke
Did you know that 97% of the world is dumb? Luckily, I’m in the other 5%!
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Dust Joke
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face,"Without you we are but dust... " He would have continued, but at that moment my daughter, who surprisingly was listening, leaned over to me and asked, quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?”
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Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?
If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. The domain name is easy to remember.
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Steel Joke
"You know, I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon." — Ellen DeGeneres
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- Today's Observation -
Is Commercial Real Estate Obsolete?
My wife and I love getting delicious and exotic meals delivered to our door from various nearby restaurants. How soon before before a bunch of smart restauranteurs set up kitchens in cheap industrial parks and rely 100% on DoorDash and GrubHub?
For the past four months, the workers at Blackburne & Sons have been working from home, with perhaps one different worker per day working out of the office. Zoom, scanning, PDF’s, email, and Dropbox work quite well, and my employees have no commute. Yeah, baby! :-) We’ve worked out of the same 1,600 sf office for 25 years now, so even if we someday needed to expand, we’ll simply hire virtual workers. We’ll never rent more office space.
For at least fifty years, many small-time bookkeepers, real estate brokers, and property managers have worked from a little office in their homes. How soon before larger firms maintain just a token office and only meet with their clients using Zoom? Do we need so much office space?
We have already seen Amazon’s business grow by 30% during this crisis. People like having their staple goods delivered to their door. The future of retail simply must lie in providing experiences, not just rows of goods on shelves; but even if stores become cool places to hang out and view new things, the overall demand for retail space simply must fall.
Gesch, if I were a commercial architect, I might be tempted to jump off a bridge. Not only are 99% of all banks out of the commercial construction lending market, but the demand for new commercial space will almost certainly plunge by 50%. Sixty percent? More?
This three-month COVID quarantine has changed our world. Multifamily and residential projects will still be hot. If you are in the loan business, I urge you to focus your attention there. I have fantasies of large, master-planned, live-work subdivisions in Indiana, where water is plentiful (the vegetation here is so lush and green) and land is cheap. Every house would have an attached home-office, with a separate entry, and three visitor parking spaces.
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Wrong Student Joke
While visiting a country school, the Chairman of the Board of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room. Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys, who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner. A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back?”
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Become a Hard Money Lender
One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.
Now available online!
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911 Joke
Dispatcher: "Nine-one-one. What's the nature of your emergency?"
Caller: "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart."
Dispatcher: "Is this her first child?"
Caller: "No, you idiot! This is her husband.”
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Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.
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Squirrel Fire Joke
"A couple in Michigan is being sued for $2 million after they burned down their apartment complex while trying to cook a squirrel with a blowtorch. I'm not an accountant, but it SOUNDS like they might not have $2 million.” — Seth Meyers
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Space X Joke
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?
A: An astronut!
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Medicine Joke
Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations, the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.
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Video - This Bobcat Can Really Jump
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FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training
From an Industry Veteran and Attorney
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Final Funny
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?” Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!”
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'!"
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www.C-Loans.com
4811 Chippendale Drive
Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
P: (574) 210-6686
F: (916) 338-2328
CA DRE #1330173
NMLS #167100
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Tom Blackburne
General Manager
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