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This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss EXACTLY how to profit from the coronavirus crisis. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a hilarious, short video that shows how break-dancing started.
Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com? Seriously, guys, this searchable portal is free, and it contains thousands of commercial lenders. You really are doing them a favor.
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Joke Du Jour
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterwards, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine…"
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Free Commercial Loan Software
C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.
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Babies Joke
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse approaches the first guy and says, “Congratulations! You're the father of twins.” “That's odd,” answers the man. “I work for the Minnesota Twins!” A nurse then yells the second man, “Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!” “That's weird,” answers the second man. “I work for the 3M Company!” A nurse goes up to the third man saying, “Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets." “That's strange,” he answers. “I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!” The last man begins groaning and banging his head against the wall. “What's wrong?” the others ask. “I work for 7-Up!”
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Free Commercial Loan Leads
C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.
If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothing. Please click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)
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Toddler Joke
Two students were talking about their childhood. "I was a very clever toddler. By the time I was ten months old, I could already walk.” "You call that clever?" the other said. "I managed to trick my parents into carrying me until I was three!”
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How C-Loans Actually Works
Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!
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Grape Joke
Q: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
A: “Breathe, you fool, breathe!”
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Lamb Joke
If Mary had Jesus, and Jesus is the lamb of God, does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
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Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?
If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. The domain name is easy to remember.
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Bear Conversion Joke
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.” “I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.” They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”
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- Today's Opportunity -
How to Profit From The Corona Virus
China’s economy is about to get clobbered by this coronavirus crisis. The financial hammer is NOT what you think. It's not just the issue of three hundred million workers cowering in their homes. The financial hammer is that the multiplier effect is about to kick into reverse. An enormous deflationary tidal wave is about to wash over China and the rest of the world.
The cause is the fact that Chinese banks are now too frightened to lend, and small business owners in China are now too frightened to borrow. In the meantime, Chinese small business owners, who employ sixty percent of China’s workers, are still making payments on their bank loans. The terrified Chinese banks are either too frightened to lend, or they can’t find any borrowers brave enough to borrow.
Because the multiplier effect can work in reverse, a $1,000 loan payment from a small business can, if the banks fails to recycle that payment, suck a whopping $20,000 (20:1) out of the Chinese money supply. Chinese borrowers probably send at least $50 billion back to the banks in loan payments every year. Multiplied by twenty, that means that $1 trillion in money is being destroyed annually in China.
Soon, money will become desperately tight in China. Tens of thousands of small businesses in China will fail, tens of millions of workers will be laid off, further reducing demand for products, and adding to the failures of even more businesses and leading to even more layoffs of workers. It is going to be a deflationary bloodbath.
Okay, now let’s profit from this.
Are you a commercial loan broker? Soon most of the banks will be out of the commercial real estate loan market. Soon subprime Wall Street lenders will be unable to sell their mortgage-backed securities, and they will be forced to leave the market. Soon most of the hundreds of the new hard money mortgage funds will close because they lack any new money to lend.
This is great news for you. Borrowers will be desperate for commercial loans, and you know one of the only commercial lenders that will remain in the market. I have told you for years that we intentionally do not use a fund. We quickly put together a fresh syndicate to fund every single loan. This is why Blackburne & Sons was in the market, making new commercial loans, every single day of the S&L Crisis, the Dot-Com Meltdown, and the Great Recession.
Are you a commercial broker (commercial real estate sales broker)? Lots and lots of business owners will be desperate for cash, and many will be willing to list their properties for sale. Get out there and talk to every business owner and every commercial property owner that you know. The next two years should be a field day for listings for you.
Are you a real estate investor? The best time to invest is when blood is running in the streets, and sadly I greatly fear that there will soon be plenty of blood in the streets. But please grasp this concept: Commercial real estate fell by 45% during the S&L Crisis. Within three years, values reached new highs. Commercial real estate fell by 45% during the Dot-Com Meltdown. Within three years, values reached new highs. Commercial real estate fell by 45% during the Great Recession. Within three years, values reached new highs.
When commercial real estate values have fallen by 35% (not 45%), get out there and BUY something. If values simply recover, you will have earned 53.8% on your money. Why not wait until commercial real estate has fallen by 45%? You will end up buying nothing! In every real estate depression for the past forty years, real estate values soared from their nadir (low point) to a full recovery in a matter of weeks. Don’t get greedy!
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Geography Joke
A bank robber pulls out gun points it at the teller, and says, "Give me all the money or you're geography!" The puzzled teller replies, "Did you mean to say 'or you're history?'" The robber says, "Don't change the subject!”
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Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance
9-Hour Video Training Course
It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.
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Diplomacy Joke
Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a fashion they ask for directions.
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Become a Hard Money Lender
One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.
Now available online!
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Legal Proof Joke
A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply, and then you’ll have your proof!”
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Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?
We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.
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Birthplace Joke
Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "The United States."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "My whole body.”
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Fish Joke
Q: Why did the fish blush?
A: Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
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Pig Joke
Q: What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A: A pork chop.
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Astrology Joke
Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter.”
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FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training
From an Industry Veteran and Attorney
The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com
Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below.
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Final Funny
And finally: A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment, he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. He looked up from his work and sheepishly asked, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?” She replied, “No, doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’"
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www.C-Loans.com
4811 Chippendale Drive
Suite 101
Sacramento, CA 95841
P: (574) 210-6686
F: (916) 338-2328
CA DRE #1330173
NMLS #167100
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Tom Blackburne
General Manager
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