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C-LOANS BANKER LETTER

Volume 8: Issue 1 | Date: January 10, 2020



This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss how to finance IRA’s that wish to buy real estate. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a terrific Christmas video involving a cute puppy and the Budweiser Clydesdales.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com? Seriously, guys, this searchable portal is free, and it contains thousands of commercial lenders. You really are doing them a favor.

 

Joke Du Jour

Jack Benny and George Burns (super-famous old comedians) met as young performers on the vaudeville circuit and remained friends for life. One day at lunch, Benny wrestled with the problem of whether or not to butter his bread. "I like butter on my bread," he said. "But my diet strictly forbids butter. Maybe I should call Mary and ask her what to do."

"Jack," Burns said, "don't be ridiculous. You're a grown man. You should be able to decide, without your wife's help, whether or not to butter your own bread.” "You're right," Benny said. "I'll just have the butter, that's all.” When the waiter arrived with the check, Burns pointed to Benny and said, "He's paying.” "What?" Benny said. "Why should I have to pay the whole bill?” "Because if you don't," Burns said, "I'll tell Mary about the butter.”

 

Free Commercial Loan Software

C-Loans has just developed some brand new commercial loan software that is super-easy to use, even for a complete newbie to commercial real estate finance. You just fill in the blanks. You can then take your professional-looking commercial loan package and submit it to any lender in the country. This new commercial loan software is also 100% free.


 

Forgetfulness Joke

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?” The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?” The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood..." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.” 

 

Free Commercial Loan Leads

C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.

If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothingPlease click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)

 

Poor Santa Joke

Q: What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

A: Saint Nickel-less…

 

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

video
 

City Official Joke

Q: What do you call the horse the runs the city?

A: The mare.

Q: What do you call an Eskimo cow?

A: An Eskimoo!

 

Ever Wonder What a C-Loans Application Looks Like?

Here's a sample loan application.

 

Racing Joke

Her: What do you do?

Me: I race cars. 

Her: Do you win many races? 

Me: Not really. The cars are much faster.

 

Won't You Please-Please-Please Refer Us Your Commercial Mortgage Turndowns?


If you have to turn down a commercial loan this week, you would really be helping your customer if you referred him to CommercialMortgage.com. The domain name is easy to remember.

 

Rocket Joke

A couple of birds were watching a rocket take off from Kennedy Space Center. "Wow," said one, "look how fast he flies.” The other replied, "You'd fly fast too if your tail was on fire.”

 

- Today's Observation -

Non-Recourse Loans For Your IRA To Buy Property

Did you know that you can buy real estate - rental homes, apartment buildings, and commercial buildings - using your IRA? You can even use leverage; i.e., your IRA can obtain a mortgage to buy the property. The only thing is that the loan must be a non-recourse mortgage. You cannot personally guaranty the loan.

Why? The personal guaranty of a very high-net-worth individual, in the eyes of the IRS, makes the loan much less risky to the bank. Therefore, in theory, you could negotiate a much lower interest rate on the loan. This lower interest rate benefits the IRA, which would be an unlawful contribution to the IRA.

Before the Great Recession, banks made lots of non-recourse loans; but after the tremendous drubbing taken by the banks during the slump, Federal regulators have put the kibosh on almost all non-recourse loans from banks. Therefore, how can you now get a non-recourse loan for your IRA to buy property? The answer is private lenders, like   Blackburne & Sons.

 

Business Book Joke

I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. 

"You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail the course."

 

Learn Commercial Real Estate Finance

9-Hour Video Training Course

It would be a lot easier to close your commercial deals if you actually knew the subject matter. Are you finally ready to learn the financial ratios and the advanced terminology of commercial real estate finance? Just $549.

Now available online!

 

Last Night Joke

I don’t remember much from last night; but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the refrigerator door tells me it was awesome.

 

Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.

 

This Weekend Joke

Whenever someone asks what I did this weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

 

Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?


We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.

video
 

Arguing Joke

I hate when a couple is arguing in public, and I missed the beginning. I don’t know whose side I’m on.

 

Need a NMLS License? Need to Renew Your CE Hours?

This fun instructor makes these hours bearable.

 

Sleep Joke

I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three nights; but whatever… 

 

Use Cheddar Stacks to Get Commercial Loans


Imagine 19 business men and women, all working in industries centered around real estate. Each has an app on their cell phone that makes it easy to shoot each other leads. Folks, referral leads are worth THIRTY leads from advertising. Click here for more details.

 

Donut Joke

Why did the donut visit the dentist?

To get a new filling.

 

Get Four Training Courses for FREE

Are you desperate to learn commercial real estate finance, but you’re as poor as a church mouse? Get four training courses for free.

 

Vampire Joke

Patient: Doctor I think I've been bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this water.

Patient: Will this help me?

Doctor: No, but I'll be able to see any leaks.

 

Video - Latest Budweiser Clydesdales Commercial

video
 

FREE Commercial Loan Brokerage Training

From an Industry Veteran and Attorney


The C-Loans Blog: info.c-loans.com

Every week we publish one or two new blog articles that train commercial brokers in commercial real estate finance. We try to have fun with it, including lots of funny pics. If you want access to this FREE training, subscribe to George's blog by clicking the button below.

 

Final Funny - An Oldie But Goodie

Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor. Butt clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What in the world are ya' doing, Billy Bob?” "Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. "But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor."

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www.C-Loans.com


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Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (574) 210-6686

F: (916) 338-2328


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NMLS #167100

 

Tom Blackburne

General Manager

Have questions? Email me.