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C-LOANS BANKER LETTER

Volume 7: Issue 12 | Date: October 28, 2019

This letter is intended only for commercial real estate loan officers working for banks, credit unions, conduits, and hard money lenders. Today we’ll discuss the USDA’s commercial loan program, the Business and Industries Loan. We also have lots of cute, clean jokes, some funny pics, and a funny video about how not to leave a car wash.

Hey guys, if we make you chuckle today, won't you please-please-please refer a turndown this week to CommercialMortgage.com? Seriously, guys, this searchable portal is free, and it contains thousands of commercial lenders. You really are doing them a favor.

Joke Du Jour

One day my home phone rang. It was a salesman from a mortgage refinance company. "Do you have a second mortgage on your home?” "No," I replied. "Would you like to consolidate all your debts?” he asked. "I really don't have any," I said. "How about freeing up cash for home improvements?" he tried. "I don't need any. I just recently had some done and paid cash," I parried. There was a brief silence, and then he asked, "Are you looking for a husband?"

Dimes Joke

Little Mary talking to Little Johnny: "I found twenty cents on the sidewalk."

Little Johnny: "That's mine. I dropped a twenty-cent coin there this morning."

Little Mary: "But what I found was two ten-cent coins!"

Little Johnny: "That's it. I heard it break when it hit the ground.”

Free Commercial Loan Leads

C-Loans.com, is our original portal. C-Loans.com has been phenomenally successful, boasting over 1,000 commercial loan closings totaling over $1 billion. We will list banks on C-Loans.com for free, and they will receive free leads by email, as well as calls and emails directly from borrowers.

If the bank closes a commercial loan, however, the bank owes to C-Loans.com a software licensing fee of between 25 to 50 bps (usually 37.5 bps.) In real life, all of our banks simply bump their normal loan fee from 1.0 points to 1.375 points, so C-Loans.com effectively costs the bank nothing. Please click here to get listed on C-Loans for free. (You must be a bona fide direct commercial lender servicing at least $20 million in commercial loans.)

Fetal Movement Joke

Q;  When will my baby move?

A:  With any luck, right after he finishes high school.

How C-Loans Actually Works

Think of C-Loans.com as a giant filter. We start with 750 participating commercial lenders. Every time you enter more information into the application - loan amount, property type, loan type, state, credit - dozens of lenders are filtered out. Upon completion, you are left with a list of 20 to 30 perfect lenders. You put a check mark next to six lenders at a time and press submit. Soon you are receiving quotes and offers. No good offers? Come back and submit to six more lenders, then six more, and so on. And C-Loans.com is free!

Face Cream Joke

Q:  What kind of face cream do matadors use? 

A:  Olay!

Misspelling Joke

Q: What word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary? 

A: Wrong.

Crocodile Island Joke

"Indonesia's anti-drug chief is proposing that the country put narcotics offenders in a jail on an island surrounded by crocodiles. The plan is to send the inmates food supplies every day but they will have to survive on their own. This already sounds like a reality TV show I would totally watch.” — James Corden

- Today's Observation -

The USDA's Commercial Loan Program

Many of the poorest Americans live in rural areas. In order to foster the growth of higher-paying jobs in rural areas, the USDA has developed a commercial loan program that is similar to the successful SBA loan program. It is called the Business and Industries (“B&I”) Loan Program.

In most cases, a borrower who qualifies for an SBA loan will also qualify for a USDA loan, as long as the population in the surrounding 25 miles is relatively low. But why apply for a USDA loan? Why not just apply for an SBA loan?

• Few SBA lenders are enthusiastic about making large loans in very rural areas. Remember, only a portion of an SBA loan is guaranteed by the Federal government. SBA lenders still have a piece of their own tushes exposed and at risk on every deal. Loans in Bum Flowers, Egypt are not terribly appealing to most banks and SBA lenders.
• The maximum loan amount for a USDA loan is a whopping $25 million, and this loan amount can sometimes even be increased. The maximum loan amount for an SBA 7a loan (the 25-year adjustable loan) is just $5 million. The maximum loan amount on a SBA 504 loan (the fixed rate program) is just $10 million.
• A single lender makes the entire loan. There is no need to bring in a community development corporation and conventional lender to make the underlying first mortgage. Anyone who has ever gotten an SBA 504 loan can testify that the process can be buggy, slow, and maddening.
• USDA loans do NOT have to be owner-occupied! Suppose an investor wants to renovate an old, vacant industrial property in the Boonies and lease it to a manufacturing company willing to move to a rural area. The USDA will guaranty such a loan, even though the loan is arguably a subsidy to the wealthy investor.
• Can you imagine the financial benefits of using a USDA loan in an opportunity zone???
• USDA loans enjoy a 30-year amortization, rather than just 25 years.
• The USDA will guaranty 15-year loans on equipment, rather than just 7-years on SBA loans. This greatly frees up cash flow.
• Individual investors, rather than just companies, can qualify for a USDA-guaranteed B&I loan.
• The borrower does NOT need to be a for-profit entity. Non-profit entities are also eligible.

Just click here to apply for a USDA Business and Industries loan.

Vegetables? Yuck!

Think about it... Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.

Engagement Ring Joke

Michelle:  "I hear you broke off your engagement to Rob.  Why?"

Irina:  "It's just that my feelings toward him weren't the same any more."

Michelle:  "Are you returning the ring?"

Irina:  "No way!  My feelings toward the ring haven't changed.”

Become a Hard Money Lender

One reason why hard money brokers make ten times more money than desk-and-a-phone mortgage brokers is that they approve their own deals!! Four-hour video course, How To Find Your Own Private Mortgage Investors. Just $549.

Time Machine Joke

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.  Now at last I've managed to build a time machine of my own, I'm going back to when he was a little boy, so I can punch him and see how he likes it.

Would You Mind a $21,250 Referral Fee?

We once paid a $21,250 referral fee to a website owner named Alan Dunn for referring us a $17 million deal. Please click here for details.

Janitor Joke

Q:  What did the school janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? 

A:  Supplies!

Mole Joke

Q:  How do you stop moles from digging in your garden?

A:  Hide the spade.

Wedding Joke

At the wedding reception someone yelled, "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made their life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. 

Pin Hole Joke

Putting a pin through all of my best friend’s condoms seemed like a good idea at the time. It backfired, though, when I found out my wife is pregnant.

Video - How NOT to Leave a Car Wash



Final Funny

"Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now, when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, 'Yes! He’s dead though. That's why you didn't get that bike.’” -- James Corden

www.C-Loans.com

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Suite 101

Sacramento, CA 95841

P: (574) 210-6686

F: (916) 338-2328

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Tom Blackburne

General Manager

Have questions? Email me.