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Volume 12: Issue 1 | Date: March 4, 2022

COMMERCIAL LENDING NEWSLETTER

You are receiving this letter because you are one of my Spartans - my top-producing brokers and investor clients - of whom I am allowed to have 300. Removal instructions are below. Today we’ll discuss how Putin is worse than you thought.  As always, we have lots of cute, clean jokes, funny pictures, and a video from the movie Outbreak.

Joke Du Jour

"A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy. The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy, but they prefer to watch you die.” — Conan O'Brien 

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Mr. Potato Head Joke

The winner has been named in the world wide search for the perfect man. After careful consideration and endless debate, the Perfect Man has been named - MR. POTATO HEAD. He's tan, he's cute, he knows the importance of accessorizing, and if he looks at another girl, you can rearrange his face.

- Today's Observation -

Putin Is Worse Than You Thought

Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots, once met Vladimir Putin in person.  Noticing Kraft's Superbowl ring, Kraft took it off to show it to him. Putin tried it on and said in an evil way, “I could kill someone with this.” When Kraft stuck out his hand to get his ring back, Putin smirked, turned around, and walked away, trailed by his three bodyguards.  American Secret Service agents told Kraft, “Let’s not start World War III. It’s best if you act as if you gave it to him.”

Russia is now using thermobaric missiles on the innocent people of the Ukraine. The thermobaric bomb, also known as a fuel-air explosive, generates the largest explosion in the world, short of a nuclear explosion. Also known as a vacuum bomb or fuel-air bomb, a thermobaric weapon sucks in oxygen from the surrounding air to generate a high-temperature explosion, typically producing a blast wave of a significantly longer duration than that of a conventional explosive and is capable of vaporizing human bodies.

A vacuum bomb consists of a fuel container with two separate explosive charges. This can be launched as a rocket or dropped as a bomb from aircraft. When it hits its target, the first explosive charge opens the container and widely scatters fuel mixture as a cloud.

This cloud can penetrate any building openings or defences that are not totally sealed. A second charge then detonates the cloud, resulting in a huge fireball, a massive blast wave and a vacuum which sucks up all surrounding oxygen. The weapon can destroy reinforced buildings, equipment, and kill or injure people.

Just look at the size of this explosion. Make sure your volume is on.

Anybody remember the opening scenes of the virus move with Dustin Hoffman, “Outbreak?” The fuel-air bomb floated down on a parachute until it was 100 feet off the ground and exploded. When we conquered Afghanistan 20 years ago, the US dropped just one of these bombs - just one. The Taliban immediately surrendered.  Here is that opening scene again. Scroll forward 2:45 seconds.

Video Training Courses For The Newbie Commercial Mortgage Broker

Ransom Joke

At work I've got the ear of my boss… I'm still not convinced we should pay the ransom.

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On a Personal Note

A few weekends ago, we had a “Celebration of Life” for my grandparents. My grandpa died 10+ years ago from Alzheimer’s, but my mom had been holding onto his ashes. My precious grandma just passed away 2 weeks ago at the age of 96. She lived a great life and was pretty healthy up until about 3 years ago when she got cancer. They would not treat her cancer due to her age so it just spread throughout her body. She lived in Idaho with my mom. My mom traveled to California with both sets of ashes and all of the family got together to spread the ashes in my aunts yard up in Shingle Springs. My grandparents are now together again. It was nice getting together with family, watching old family movies, making Lefse, our Norweigan family tradition, playing cards, and just enjoying each other’s company.

Video

Final Funny

One night at about 3 a.m. my wife was getting up from the toilet to return to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her. She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders. After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door. Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom. This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg! That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side. The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked the path from bed to the bathroom. 

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