C-LOANS
LENDER LETTER Joke
Du Jour
Harry was in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife told him, "Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat". The next morning his wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. I’m not sure when Harry gets out of the hospital.
Oh, So Close to $200 Million!
It's year-end, and right now C-Loans sits at $190 million in closings. We know of several million dollars more in closings where our check should arrive shortly. Two other lenders have deals of $2MM+ that should close before year end.
We desperately need $4MM more in closings before year-end!
I have promised the staff a rousing party if we make our goal of $200 million. If you have deals poised to close for C-Loans, would you please send a nice email to the lovely Alicia. The staff is sooo excited. Thanks! :-)
Election Joke
Today they held the elections in Iraq. The results are slowly coming in. The only thing we know for sure at this point is that Al Gore lost again." -- Jay Leno
Yeah, Yeah - The Check is in the Mail
No, really. Our programmers promise me that they plan to go live (their fourth attempt) over the Christmas holiday with our new $100,000 program that will allow lenders on C-Loans to buy leads. You will be able to go onto C-Loans and do a search, "Show me every permanent loan request of over $2MM on the four major food groups in the past eight days in New York, Connecticut, and the four most northern counties of New Jersey."
No, really. The check is in the mail.
Worm
Joke
To a worm, digging in the hard ground is more relaxing than going fishing.
Sooner or Later The Light Will Go On
One day you will realize that you can trade your crumby deals for sweet ones. Every day you get at least five lead calls on reasonable commercial deals that you just can't do. Right now you throw these gold nuggets away. No-no-no!
If you refer a turndown to C-Loans and the borrower submits a loan app, you will earn 5 lender bonus points for 30 days. Lender bonus points are incredibly important.
The 6th ranked lender on C-Loans receives three times as many loan app's as the 7th ranked lender.
Just go to c-loans.com/refer and enter the email address of the guy you are turning down. That's all it takes.
Your
lender score also affects your loan quality.
The lenders with the highest scores see the cleanest deals.
Please bookmark this page now: c-loans.com/refer
Buffalo Wings
Joke
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
Refer a Broker to C-Loans and Ooo-La-La!
If you refer a mortgage broker or a realtor to C-Loans, you earn five lender bonus points for every loan application he submits! Many brokers submit ten to twenty loan app's per year. Oh, baby!
Bear Hunting Joke
"The bear hunting season in New Jersey has opened. Hunting bears in New Jersey is a little different. After you shoot the bear, you bury it at a construction site." -- David Letterman
You Also Earn Referral Fees
And if one of your referrals closes, you also earn 12.5 basis points. That's $12,500 on a $10 million loan.
China Joke
"President Bush and his White House staff are on their way to China. I don't think President Bush really knows a lot about China. Like today he said that he is really looking forward to going to the Great Mall." -- Jay Leno
Skyrocket
Your Website on Google
C-Loans.com
is very highly ranked by the search engines. We are
a Level Five in terms of link popularity, which means we
are a fairly heavy gorilla. Just mention that to your own web site guru and watch him drool.
So let's swap links. Not only will your search engine ranking skyrocket because of your link on C-Loans, but we will also pay you huge referral fees. To swap links, please send an email to our web page
guru, John
Merry, or call John at (916) 941-1180.
Day Off Joke
I'll bet it was really tough being an Apostle of Jesus Christ. What if you wanted a day off? You ring up Jesus and say, "Jesus, I'm sick today, running a little fever and feeling congested so I won't be able to make it to today's sermon. What...? Say that again...? I'm cured?"
Big Closings
A big C-Loans thank you goes out to Glenn Gioseffi of BMC Capital for closing a $9,250,000 refinance on a shopping center in Arlington, Texas.
And another warm C-Loans "God bless you!" goes out to Andy Navone of Owens Financial Group for closing a $6,000,000 construction loan on an office building in Roseville, California.
Thanks, guys, for your salesmanship and your honesty.
Final Joke (Very Cute!)
A man wandered into a doctor's consulting rooms and asked if could see the doctor. The receptionist was hesitant to let him in, especially as it was Christmas Eve and she was waiting to turn off the Christmas lights in the waiting room and go home; but he was very insistent. So the doctor, having had completed all his consultations for the day and feeling in a 'good will to men' mood, agreed to see him. The man entered in a rather aimless manner and after some hesitation flopped into a chair and looked nervously around the room. "How can I help you?" asked the doctor. "Well, it's like this," said the man. "I keep thinking I'm a moth". "A moth?" the doctor asked. "Yes," the man replied. "I'm convinced that I'm a moth". "Well, I'm very sorry, but you're in the wrong place. What you need is a psychiatrist," said the doctor. "That's what I've been thinking" replied the man. "Well, as it happens, I know just the man," said the doctor "I'll give him a call and see if he can fix an appointment for you after the holiday." The man agreed and the doctor made the appointment. "Tell me," said the doctor, "It must have been very apparent from the sign outside that I'm a general practitioner. So if you already knew you needed to see a psychiatrist, why did you come in?" "Well," the man said in a resigned voice, "The door was open and the lights were on ....."
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